


The State of the Kingdom

by tehfanglyfish



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Very Likely Crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 20:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17731847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehfanglyfish/pseuds/tehfanglyfish
Summary: Arthur delivers his first State of the Kingdom Address. The people of Camelot become more informed on a variety of topics.





	The State of the Kingdom

The castle courtyard was full of eager people crowding against one another. Even though it was early spring, the warmth of so many bodies pressed together helped compensate for the slight chill in the morning air. Visiting delegations from neighboring kingdoms stood toward the front. A small group of druids hovered at the periphery. Parents hoisted small children on their shoulders. Patrons of the Rising Sun, still inebriated from the previous night’s celebrations, stumbled into the fray. The people gathering were unsure of what to expect but were intrigued by the king’s invitation to hear an address for all residents of Camelot.

After a bit of a wait, they were rewarded by the emergence of King Arthur Pendragon, adorned in formal attire and a crown, walking out of the entrance to the castle accompanied by a servant wearing a brown jacket and a red neckerchief. The king loudly mumbled something to his servant about this being an ungodly early hour and why hadn’t they planned this for the late afternoon. The servant responded by shoving a parchment in Arthur’s hand and retreating off to the side. The king made his way to the edge of the steps leading down to the courtyard. Taking a deep breath, his voice carried out to the crowd.

“Citizens of Camelot and distinguished visitors, I welcome you to the kingdom’s first State of the Kingdom Address. As you know, my father, Uther Pendragon, could be a distant king, not always in touch with the people. As a result, his policies were sometimes perceived as harsh.”

“More like horseshit,” called one of the drunken tavern revelers.

The crowd gasped. Arthur appeared a bit flustered and glanced at his servant. The man gave him a big smile and an encouraging nod. The king regained his momentum and continued without engaging, or arresting, the heckler.

“While my father may have,” Arthur spared another quick look with his servant, “done what he thought he had to do to protect the kingdom, I wish to proceed differently. I want to build a kingdom that is fair and just, one where everyone is respected regardless of rank. As part of that effort, I hope to begin a new tradition of giving you, the people of Camelot, an annual update on the state of the kingdom. It is my hope that this will keep you informed of what has been accomplished in the past year, challenges we continue to face, and the plans that we have for moving forward.”

Murmurs broke out through the mass of people. Many had expected a proclamation, but not this.

Arthur looked down at his parchment and began to speak again.

“In the past year of my reign, the following has been accomplished:

There is now a new peace treaty in place uniting the Five Kingdoms. The new agreements will allow for the free movement of people and goods across the borders. Additionally, as part of the negotiations Camelot has gained the village of Ealdor, which is, apparently, good country for raising dairy cattle. The Guild of Cheesemakers has informed me that these developments have led to a fivefold increase in profits. They also encourage you to buy genuine Camelot cheese.”

A small cheer broke out from a small pocket of the crowd that began waving pennants with illustrations of cheese wedges.

“I have officially removed the requirement for knights to come from the nobility. Regardless of background, anyone skilled with a sword who is interested in becoming a knight should meet on the training grounds at noon in two days’ time to apply.”

The sound of a throat being deliberately cleared came from a window overlooking the courtyard.

“Er, my half-sister, the Lady Morgana, would like for me to emphasize that this means all people, including any women who might have combat skills.”

A couple of knights let out frustrated groans until a glare from the king silenced them.

“The ban on magic…” the king’s voice wavered slightly and he again looked to his servant for an encouraging smile. “The ban on magic is hereby rescinded.”

The crowd froze. Even the drunken revelers went silent. The king continued his address.

“Magic is now allowed in Camelot but it will be regulated. Just as it is forbidden to run people through with swords in the tavern, sorcerers are not allowed to use their magic for harm. Or for raising the dead. That’s just creepy. By early evening, copies of the new laws will be posted throughout the city for all to read. This change will improve the agricultural yields of the kingdom, aid in healing the sick and wounded, and…” the king squinted at a note on the parchment, “make mundane, boring, soul-sucking household chores like laundry, floor cleaning, polishing, and stable mucking less time consuming.”

Arthur again glanced at his servant with, what some in the crowd later described as, an annoyed expression.

“Along those lines,” Arthur turned to face the Druids, “all peaceful Druids and followers of the Old Religion are welcome in Camelot. The Guild of Merchants would apparently like to extend an invitation to visit often. We’d love to have your tourism coins. I mean, your presence and wisdom.”

Several members of the crowd hoisted a banner above the sea of people that read “Welcome Druid Tourists!”

The king sighed.

“I now wish to inform you of several changes that will be taking place in the upcoming year. We are working on a new plan of succession for the throne, whereby a reigning monarch will name his or her successor. In the past, Camelot has defaulted to the crown going to the eldest son. In some instances, that has produced the impressive result of an extremely high-quality king.”

It took a moment for the crowd to realize that Arthur had paused and seemed to be waiting for something. A loud chorus of cheers erupted and the king appeared a bit more relaxed.

“However, in other cases, the quality of leadership has been… lesser.”

“It was horseshit!” yelled out the heckler from before.

“I…” Arthur briefly faltered. “I suppose that in some instances it was.”

The heckler began to smugly call back with more commentary on Uther, but was cut off by loudly slurred cheers of “Long live King Arthur” from the Rising Sun delegation.

“Anyway,” said the king, “while we are still finalizing the legislation, I would like to inform you that my choice of successor is Guinevere.” He gestured to the window where she was watching with Morgana.

There was a chorus of “awwws” from the crowd.

“Guinevere has worked as a castle servant for over a decade now. She was the daughter of Tom the blacksmith and is the sister of a knight of Camelot, Sir Elyan. I am choosing Guinevere because of her vast knowledge of court life, politics and diplomacy, and the needs of the people. I have valued her counsel for years and believe she would make a capable ruler.”

Loud cheers erupted. As Arthur waited for them to quiet, his servant ran up and whispered something to him.

“Er, I’ve just been told that the Blacksmiths’ Guild is offering discounts this week to celebrate.”

“Four horseshoes for the price of three,” a voice boomed.

Arthur tried to regain control of the situation.

“I would also like to take this time to address the visiting dignitaries from other kingdoms. Camelot values your friendship and I hope that I do not cause offense when I ask that you stop sending unwed princesses to my kingdom for courtship purposes. They are, of course, allowed to visit for negotiations or…” a grunt from the crowd drew his attention to one of the guild assemblies, “tourism. But Camelot’s king is no longer in need of potential marriage partners. That is, um, to say that, er… I have found… I mean… I’m engaged.”

“Gwen! Gwen! Gwen!” Arthur’s audience cried.

“Er… not quite.”

Confused muttering broke out.

“While I do value Gwen’s advice and friendship,” Arthur called above the noise, “she is already spoken for and will be marrying our own Sir Lancelot.”

Arthur waited patiently for the crowd to again calm itself.

“I will be marrying…” Arthur paused, gathering up his courage. “I will be marrying Merlin, my loyal servant and newly appointed Court Sorcerer… I mean Warlock… Court Warlock.”

Merlin stepped forward as the crowd fell silent. People shared stunned glances. Arthur’s blood went cold and he got a premonition of something called the French Revolution.

The silence was broken by loud, raucous shouts from what Arthur was now starting to mentally refer to as the Guild of Rising Sun Imbibers. With a few exceptions, the rest of the crowd joined in for the most deafening cheers of the day.

Arthur started breathing again just as Merlin grabbed his face and kissed him passionately before all of Camelot. The cheering grew louder, random strangers started hugging each other, and Arthur thought he felt the ground shake, though whether that was from the revelers or Merlin’s overall effect on him, he wasn’t sure.

It took ages for the audience to resume listening.

“Finally, if anyone knows anything about organizing books and records, Geoffrey of Monmouth has an opening in the library. In researching changes to policies, we’ve discovered that our current system of cataloguing is less than ideal. It’s actually just Geoffrey putting things on random shelves and then hopefully remembering where they are eighty years later.”

“I’m not that old,” Geoffrey’s offended voice called out.

“Er, um, so if anyone would like that job, please speak with Geoffrey.”

Arthur glanced at his parchment.

“Well, my fellow Camelotians, I think that concludes this first State of the Kingdom Address. Thank you for listening and… um… may the Old and New Religion deities bless you and bless Camelot. Ugh! Merlin, I told you that was a cheesy closing line.”

Thunderous applause erupted as the king and his servant went back inside the castle.


End file.
